the most toxic day in my nursing life

its 11:52 of the evening ,so allow me to cut the cutie-ditzy.

i just want to shout through the infinite world of the internet how rough this night was......

i knew from the time i awaken my soul , and open my eyes that this god-forbidden day would be rough. i dont know how to explain it but i really can feel through my stomach the beat of my heart, and words attack my mind, i worried and took a deep inhalation, and as soon as i get up on my bed, i said to myself, "oh bitch, there's something wrong"

and as i was expecting it. i was right.

i was shot through my hypothalamus with sharp words that could kill a herd when released through the mouth of the devils.

" gago"

"tanga"

"duldog"

"bobo"

"abnormal"

if i was a normal teenager nursing wannabe , i could have broke down and cry, thank god i wasn't born normal. i have high tolerance with bad degrading words which i developed along the way as my journey in my nursing school progresses. my right ears tends to adopt all the sharp stabbing words like treasures , while my left ear tends to dispose it like dollars.

it is safe to say that this night was one of the most toxic night ever in my life, so far.

thank god to my sunny personality and optimistic life approach, my brain automatically deletes all the hatred on my heart every after taking a bath and having a bite of fried chicken.

all i can say to my classmates is: you bitches i will be richer than all of you, and you'll kiss my dirty little ass

and to my C.I : well I, John Bryan Cristobal, BSN-IV-A , do thank you for all the degrading words you said to me, i swear to the almighty that i would use those words as my inspiration in life for me to be a better nurse. NO. for me to be a great nurse. a great nurse that will take care of you at the hospital when your sick,or to old that you cant even walk and clean your poops .

then you'll thank me for listening to you. i promised i'll be respectful and will reply:

"no problem dude , i wont let my anger engulf me, im to rich to bother"

thank you sir.

7 foolish reasons

while eating lunch along with a close friend and two semi-stranger classmates, i obviously felt that the last two are feeling a little bit o.p because they cant keep up with me and my friend rampant chit-chat .we are really intimidating. so what i did is that i talk to them, ya know some random stuff about school, their lives, and some sort of lovelife, and as i was expecting , it backfired to me and slap me in my face.

i was shot direct through my heart: " bakit wala ka pang boypren?"

and i really dont know what to say, i swear i just stare both on their faces with a pokerface while my mouth open still with un-masticated pork.i promise if i dont have a well sanity i could have hit that girl right through her face.

so how should i disect this, i dont really know why. but i have few good reasons why.

1.well because im tall, dark, and.......nevermind. what i just meant is that. you know it...... should i still type it..... lets just make it this way. im the last person god created and he was so tired that time.

2. i dont know who should approach first . cause the only rule i knew is "guys should make the first move" and i guessed that isn't so applicable to my situation.

3. i know im gay, but seriously?, should i really put a dick on my mouth? dude, grow up. i aint gonna do that. gross

4. im a guy, technically, and millions of testosterone is floating in my blood. im not gonna swallow your sons and daughters. as i said i have millions of it.i don't need additional cause it might transform me into a gay hulk. uh uh.

5. guys who want dickos are gays, and guys who want their dickos into a guys mouth is gayoh. its a gayoh-gayoh love affair.in other term. a lose-lose situation, ek bankrupt.

6.this might hurt others, but. we are guys, gayguy, and we have a diko not a vagina. and real men digs vagina and not asshole.according to my last research sex-change ranges from 3000-10000 dollars roughly 138000-500000 pesos. go ahead cut your pride.

7. this is the most serious answer i can come up with.

guys dont like me. and i dont like guys, yet. i dont want to push myself on something i dont like cause i dont want to end up regretting.

Publish Post

a post ( at long last)

ok fine, i really dont know how i was able to find my dignity again to post a new entry on this so called "haunted-blog". to set the record, i was really(really) busy this past few months (i swear to you blog). but who cares right ? , as far as i know there is only 3 active person reading my post, thats my friend, another friend , and I. jaja.

anyways to start this of; i want to say ! hella IM NOW A SENIOR!

oh hell yah! im almost there. I can see myself crossing the bridge from being a student nurse to a millionaire. seriously.

i couldn't imagine how fast time is. i could still remember myself being a freshman , and now im the bully, i mean a senior who happens to be a bully. but i wasnt a bully when i was a junior cause i know that I still have higher years to look up to. but now that i know that theres no more kuya and ate to respect, I can now rock the catwalk. jaja. anyways alongside with my jolliness about being a senior i still have a lot of problem going on in my head:

MY TOP PROBLEMS AS OF NOW

1. i still havent completed all my major surg.

2. i havent experience a duty to the delivery room yet ( whats wrong with my school?)

3. i still doesnt a hike with my allowance

4.im bothered with my new terror C.I

5. i dont know what to wear at the incoming social acquintance

6. LOTS and LOTS of EXAM

7. my nostrils are irritated with hospital smell(stinks)

MY FUTURE PROBLEM 's

1. board exam( cross fingers)

2. IELTS( cross fingers)

3.WORK, i dont want to work in the hospital (please,i hate the smell)

4. money, A LOT OF MONEY

5. (this should be no. 1) graduation, i hate family events

6. living alone(i dont know how to do the laundry)

7. why the hell is breaking-dawn cut into two movie?

some clarification,for those who care about me please read this( ugh, im touch)

and for those who dont care, go back to watching porn.

1st problem: graduation , hell, graduation or any other events always drag my relatives at the house and they always call for celebration. well they really like having fun, so do i , its just that i really dont like family gathering, i dont know why, lets just set it that way. period.

2nd problem: work, hell yeh its really disturbing cause im a nursing student and i dont want to work at the hospital, im really serious, i dont know i just dont like the atmosphere of hospital, i dont like the aura of dying people, the smell(really stinks). i dont know. but hey you might ask , how about when im having duty at the hospital, well i just take a deep breath and a bulk of energy drinks, holding in my mind the phrase: "shut up bitch, just do it, thinks about the dollars".

maybe i could work as an instructor or a private nurse or a clinic nurse, im not sure ( but cross fingers)

- im also considering working at a psychological-ward hospital. you might find it weird but psych ward is the only place where i have in mind : this is fun land bitches.

huh , fingers are aching now, tired of typing. thats it for now.

im not sure when to post an entry again, but i hope soon.

misels

tawagin nyo na akong maarte ,pero ayoko ng bumalik sa manila.
tawagin nyo na akong nurse, pero ayoko na talagang bumalik sa manila.
ayain nyo man akong mag-MOA, ayoko na talagang bumalik sa manila.
bigyan nyo man ako ng unong grado , sa inyo na! , ayoko na talagang bumalik sa manila
putang ina! , maarte na kung maarte, ayoko talagang pumuntang manila!
anak ng tokwa bakit ba kasi hindi pa ako nagka-ka-measles eh. putangina talaga.
ayoko talaga, hindi ko kayang tumungtung sa san lazaro. ayoko talaga.(magkakamatayan tayo)
takowt ako eh. takowt na takowt!
hindi ko yata kayang mag-maintenance ng balot,lipovitan at sting. (patay talaga ako nito XD ) tsk tsk.

eureka booster

this week, i've been into a quite bumpy ride.the worst moment for me this week happened last,,,, hmmmp when was that? I guessed that was yesterday. i was on duty (night shift) at the E.R. its been a long time since i landed at the E.R, and to hell my luck flew out. my first patient past away (patay), that girl was really out of her mind, just the fact that she was nineteen, with two child, and she killed herself. whew, she might have been regretting why she did that cause she had lost an her chance to taste gulps.kidding aside, that much-miss experience killed my eureka to eat my favorite tapsilog(at night).

and for my best moment of the week, hmmp let me recall when was that?.......that was also yesterday. that was during our dinner break. ganito kasi yun(tagalog version)

ako: (habang kumakain ng tapsilog) kayo tagala ako na naman ang ginawang example sa bipolar disorder. palagi nalang ako, ako ,ako.

Friend1: eh ganyan talaga, ganyan ka eh.

ako: ellow?tama na sana yung isa, pero tama bang ako na ang example ng bipolar, ako na yung example ng schizo , ako na ang exaple ng autistic , pati ba naman sa pagiging manyak ako parin?(nguya ng nguya ng tapsilog)

Friend2: ganyan talaga, ang ibig sabihin lang nun eh napapansin ka namin, ikaw yung center, ibig sabihin nun love ka namin.

ako: (nguya ng nguya ng tapsilog habang nagblublush)

that conversation was totally awesome.

RE: bakit hindi ako nag-fa-farmtown

habang nag-blo-blog-hop ako,may nabanga akong blog (http://caracasniabe.blogspot.com) so binasa-basa ko yung mga post ni kuya na nakaka-aliw, hanggang sa may nag-pakinang sa aking mga cute na mata , isang post ni kuya , ang title:Bakit Wala Akong Farmville?
hindi ko alam pero sobrang nakarelate ako kay kuya, ang tangging kaibahan lang namin ay meron akong facebook account ang kaso zero ang friends ko, bakit? wala lang.

eh kasi naman ginagamit ko lang yung account na yun para iview at icopy yung mga picture ng mga kleyente ko (actually yung mga kaibigan ko lang ) para sa aking mga picture editting projects.

isa pang pagkakapareho namin ng kuyang yun ay: ang hindi ko pagka-karelate sa mga kaibigan ku tuwing recess , nagmimistulang alien ako tuwing pinagkwe-kwentuhan nila kung gaanu na kalawak ang kanilang mga hacienda.

oo, naiintindihan ko na inutus ni madam gloria na magtanim tayo para maiwasan ang globbal warming, oo, nagtanim nga kayo , sa farmtown naman. ano kaya yun.

random thoughts

1.yesterday I realized i was in like with somebody, after about five hours i regretted, then I realized i was not in like.

2. yesterday morning . i resemble myself with wolverine, a gay version , that's why i get a haircut

3. yesterday night. i unfortunately got the weirdest patient ever, he even suspected me as a vampire.

4. yesternay night(late night) , i was able to watch percy jackson , aside from the guy looking like chase crawford (hot!) , everything was pure juvenile.

5. today(Dawn) - i was able to download P-VS-Z. i am totally addicted
6. today(lunch-almost)- i was informed i flank my oxy. concept, i jerk a tear.i didnt ate lunch. then i drunk bunch of chocolate drink for a bulk of endorphines , then i laughed a lot.-im not over it yet, but im almost there (love story?)

7. today(right now) - i am typing this post

8. later- i'll be reviewing my last school concept, okey fine- ill be playing P-VS-Z

9. i notice my letter "O" in my keyboard is totally jerked.